How to not neglect the injustices right around you
Make a 100% commitment to looking into allegations of injustice
When I was navigating a spiritual abuse situation at my church almost 14 years ago, I was 100% confident that as soon as I flagged it for the higher-ups, they would step in. This was a church association that talked a LOT about the importance of justice. I was beyond gutted when the higher-ups instead ran as fast as they could in the opposite direction. My friend Kendra and I met with multiple people in above-our-church’s-leadership and not one did anything to help. Each response stunned me more than the next:
“It sounds like a he said, she said situation.”
“We’re really busy, please stop talking to us about this.”
“If you don’t like what’s happening, just leave.”
“Please use your ‘heart for justice’ somewhere else.”
I couldn’t believe it. They refused to look into it or engage. The negligence of those who could have intervened was devastating, much more than the spiritual abuse itself. I have never been the same.
I’ve come to learn that my experience of abuse being shoved under the rug is entirely commonplace. The most common (and damaging) thing that happens when an injustice is raised is ... nothing. This head-in-sand response communicates immense disregard to victims of injustice and allows the injustice to continue unchecked for both those currently impacted and future victims whose mistreatment could have been prevented.
Why does this happen? In part it’s because both our brains and social groups love the status quo. We have to overcome strong impulses urging us to look the other way. When allegations of injustice are made, overcoming our own bias toward not wanting to believe it’s true and not wanting to open up a can of worms is our most important justice step. Investigating injustice is often messy, scary, and time consuming, right? But as author Lisa Sharon-Harper says: “Jesus is the truth, so when you sweep the truth under the rug, you’re sweeping Jesus under the rug.”
How many more stories do we need to hear of injustices that continued on because no one was willing to stop and look into the allegation? Sexual abuse, domestic abuse, child abuse, spiritual abuse, workplace harassment and exploitation, school bullying, structural barriers: real people in real situations whose injustice can be stopped - IF we don’t kick the can down the road or stick our heads in the sand.
We only confront the injustices that we don’t turn away from.
The process of looking into an injustice is the first step of justice work: investigation.
Signs of potential injustices
What might get us started down this road of looking into a potential injustice? It could be direct accusations and allegations (like those I raised to our church’s higher ups), patterns of negative outcomes in populations or places, or a fishy lack of transparency. It could also be spurred by:
Stories – a group of stories told over time by different people should flag an issue. You can start to piece these stories together, ask questions, and learn more.
Rumors – false rumors can ruin a person’s life and true rumors can bring to light an issue that people don’t feel safe to raise directly. Someone (maybe you!) needs to get to the bottom of it directly, no matter how uncomfortable it is, to either clear the air or figure out what’s going on.
Disappearances – you notice that people are dropping out (of school, of the neighborhood, of the economy, of your group, of your church) – what is happening? Check into it. Might be nothing but it could be something.
National awareness – there’s an issue that has come to prominence and you want to see if or to what extent it might be affecting your town, church, or workplace.
Known issue – a situation everyone agrees is a problem but no one knows what to do about it. An investigation can move straight to investigating potential solutions. Instead of assuming we know what solutions that will work, take the time to examine the issue more deeply.
Learning – investigation can simply be a process of informing yourself of research, information, and data that is already out there but hasn’t been on your radar. Rather than dismiss an issue we hear about, we can lean in and learn more.
Committing to + preparing for an effective investigation
The most important step in effective investigation is a 100% commitment to doing a thorough, transparent, and fair investigation of any issues that arise – no matter what. Be the one to insist that you do what it takes to either nail down the problem or clear the air. This can be as simple and informal as getting all sides of the story in a family or workplace conflict. It can be as complex and formal as inviting a third-party investigator to dig into allegations made in a classroom or church. It will be time-consuming. It could be awkward. It will be the only path to doing justice.
If you are part of an organization of any kind, put an investigation process in place BEFORE issues and accusations arise. Without a process in place, it gets confusing and contentious. This makes justice much less likely to be done. Don’t wait until the proverbial fire alarm goes off to think about what you should do – have a plan in place so the house doesn’t burn down. Publicize this process and let people know how to raise issues. Have a clear process in place for people to report suspected/potential/verified abuse and injustice.
In addition:
Commit to continue your investigation until you run out of things to find. Sometimes your first findings might be just scratching the surface of what is going on. Don’t stop at surface-level discoveries that point to deeper or ongoing problems. Keep going.
Know ahead of time which matters should be reported directly to the police and civil authorities.
Determine conditions that require a third-party investigation. Vet outside experts and entities to bring in for anything beyond the capacity of the front-line response team or anything with conflict-of-interest issues. This is analogous to a financial audit to prevent and uncover wrongdoing – it must be an uncompromised third party.
My church association that shoved the abuse under the rug as quickly as it could, talked a lot about their work for justice but it was always “out there,” in other contexts or other countries. When it came to the injustices that they could have actually done something about, they were caught flat-footed. And the damage they facilitated by ignoring it had lasting impacts for many of us - broken marriages, broken community, broken trust, leaving the faith, deep confusion, fear, betrayal, and more.
If the Vineyard Association had instead been committed to and prepared for investigating injustices that happened in their own context, the painful spiritual abuse situation my church experienced could have ended so differently. It could have been a story of redemption and life instead of betrayal and death for so many of us. We could have all learned and imperfectly practiced the work of justice together. We could have felt heard and cared for. We could have seen protection in action. We could have a testimony of bringing things to the light and been a witness to our neighbors of prioritizing justice even when it cost us something (like this church did). The biblical goal for justice work is always turning mourning into joy, ashes into beauty. Getting there takes commitment and work on the front end. May we be those who insist that we look into it and prepare well for that work.
How can you make or strengthen your own personal commitment to look into potential injustices that surface around you? How is your organization or family doing this? What experiences have you had with injustices being ignored or swept under the rug?
Organizational Spotlight: Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (GRACE)
If you’re involved with a church, make sure GRACE is on your church’s speed dial for if an outside investigation is needed. They are highly respected. Their website (netgrace.org) is full of information and resources to help churches prevent and address abuse.
Their YouTube Channel has dozens of videos of the webinars they host. They are often an hour long and would be fantastic material for a Bible study or Sunday School class. Video topics include: Domestic violence, false allegations, abuse prevention, known offenders, becoming a safe church, healing, lament, and NDAs.
You can sign up for their newsletter or subscribe to their podcast to learn from their expertise and stay up to date on their offerings. GRACE is a great place to donate too!
Thank you for raising your voice about abuse. Very needed. Your steps are helpful and practical. I resonate with your experience. We left our church two years ago after 25 years. I never expected that to happen. It was traumatic for many reasons, one being the refusal of others to recognize the source. Have you read "A Church Called Tov?" It is a well written book which addresses narcissistic sourced abuse in the church and fleshes out characteristics of a healthy church. It facilitated healing for my husband and me.